Why Your New Years Resolution Should Be Whatever You Want It To Be

Life’s hard enough, don’t let other people dictate your decisions.

Yo… how hard was 2020? Right?

That sucked. What a shit show. But also in that same breath… how cool was 2020? How much did you learn? How many new people did you connect with? How many old friends near and far did you stay in touch with using the fact that we live in the age of the internet and anything is possible? How many hours did you spend with yourself? Laughing, crying, asking yourself the questions that you generally avoid answering by surrounding yourself with people and spending your time in public places where the noise is just loud enough to drown out all of the bullshit in your head that you don’t necessarily very often find the time to deal with. 2020 was good for that, wasn’t it?

Now, I want to be careful when I used the word “cool” to describe 2020. The situation that lead to the isolation we’ve been experiencing as basically an entire world has been incredibly tragic. Everybody has had to face hardships during this, each that felt unbearable to us as individuals in the moment, but some that absolutely overcame others in magnitudes. It’s been awful in so many ways. There is no denying that… but in the quiet moments as we tried and continue to try to prevent even more tragedy, there was a lot to be learned.

If you and I have anything in common, you yourself are the most exhausting friend you have. Listening to that fucking head of yours chatter on day in and day out is some shit you’d never put up with from another person, so the fact that you have to hear it from yourself on a constant loop… not fun. If you’re reading this like “I don’t relate” then that’s sweet for you, my friend. You must not be an over stimulated hypochondriac with severe bouts of regular anxiety, a little bit of OCD and probably mild depression depending on the day. But, if you’re a millennial like I am, there’s a good chance you know exactly what I’m talking about.

I swear at one point during this pandemic I googled “if your period is late does that mean you have COVID 19” and scrolled so hard that I actually found an article that said maybe. That’s the kind of year this has been. Waiting 14 excruciating days after every single time you come within 6 feet of a friend or co worker without a mask on just hoping and praying that those lungs you definitely have vaped too much with (okay that one is likely a lot less relatable) will carry you through if you do catch this mystery virus that has plagued our nation over the last almost year.

No one expected this. Not one of us. The guy I was dating when all of this started last January used to send me coronavirus articles out of china as a joke because one of my biggest fears are pandemics. I’d read them and freak out and he’d say “i wouldn’t send these to you if i actually thought anything bad was going to happen”. We’ve laughed about that several times over the course of this year because, well, something did happen. And my God are we ever ready for it to be over and done with, aren’t we?

I don’t know about you, but when the clock struck midnight on new year’s this year I felt a little emotional about it. I know it’s not the kind of thing where it’s 12:01am on new year’s day and covid-19 turns into a pumpkin and you get a new pair of slippers… though that would be literally the greatest way ever to shut this shit down. That being said, new years is often the figurative closing of a chapter and entering of a new one for most people. With the new chapter that we’ve just started, all we can really hope for are brighter days than the ones we’ve seen this year, there’s not much else. That’s the funny thing about the holidays as a whole this year. No one wanted anything but for life to go back to normal again. No one asked for extravagant gifts or luxury vacations, we just wanted to be together… and honestly not a lot of us got what we wanted in that regard. We want seeing family to go back to being normal, although now for most of us it will always feel like a privilege… which may not be the worst way to look at the simple things once life starts feeling like it used to.

This was a really long winded way to get to my point about New Years Resolutions. If you and I navigate the same way around social media apps, you likely have a daily routine that involves a zombie like scroll through each and every one of your apps and a monotonous repeat depending on which part of the day you’re in while you’re doing it. Those bed time doom scrolls can go on for an eternity, and i’m sure many of our iPhone screen time reports were astonishing this year to say the least. I stopped looking, it’s just one thing I don’t have time to feel bad about right now.

Either way, during your scrolls, I’m sure you’ve come across over the last couple of weeks, a lot of memes and articles and screen shots and motivational little squares on peoples stories about how you don’t need a resolution this year, because this year was hard enough. And, my dude, i couldn’t agree more if that’s how you’re feeling right now. If you feel run down to the absolute bone and you’ve got nothing left to give and cannot withstand anymore change in your life for the next 30 years, then please for the love of God take a fucking break. Make that your New Years Resolution… but if there are changes that you want to make, and you have it in you to make them… don’t let the hard times stop you. That’s the point I’m trying to get at.

I’ve seen a lot of stuff on social media, over the past year especially that is, for lack of a better word, shitting on the fitness world for being too hard on people. For making people feel bad, for not being accepting… and maybe I am biased because I truly don’t know that I’d be alive today had I not started my health and fitness journey, but I would’ve hated it if I made a hard year one of the reasons I never started.

2020 is a year like no other, we both know that… hell, there’s a big chance that you know that even better than I do. I have no idea what you’ve gone through this year, but if there’s something in the back of your head that you’ve been meaning to work on, work through, change, grow into or grow out of - do not let anything stop you. Anything.

Of course there are bigger things to worry about right now. Of course there are days when the weight of the heaviest year we’ve ever survived is so much that you don’t even want to get out of bed… but please don’t let that stop you from at least taking the baby steps to your living room window and having a cup of coffee and promising yourself that if today is not your day you will try again tomorrow.

Nothing about you needs to change today. All of your problems do not to be sorted at once. The change we’ve had happen over the past 10 months is enough for a lifetime and if that’s enough for you then take that information with grace and continue moving forward, but if you’re ready for more change, I can assure you, you are capable of making it happen you fricken badass.

I guess when people think of New Years resolutions, the most common one that comes to mind is always weight loss. I feel like you hear that more than anything else… “THIS YEAR I WANNA LOSE 10 LBS” or “THIS YEAR I’M NOT EATING CARBS” and i’m not here to tell you that you should be setting goals like that and I never will be. I’m just trying to say that no matter what change it is that you want to make, you are strong enough and you are capable of making those changes. No matter what they are. Whether they’re fitness and weight loss related, whether they’re personal growth related, maybe you want to mediate more, do yoga everyday, start a blog (highly recommend), call your mom more, pay off your credit card, or even lose 10 lbs if that’s your thing… I’m only here to tell you that you CAN.

There is no goal that is too hefty to achieve, and I stand here or sit here or whatever position I’m in while you read this and I tell you with full confidence that setting goals and working toward them has changed my entire life, and I am so grateful that I started. Obviously my goals are mostly fitness related and geared toward that part of my life as I tend to shout them from the rooftops on any given day but I’m just talking about goals in general right now cause baby I know you got them and you got all the tools you need to get there and I’m so fucking ready to watch you succeed.

New years is kind of a blessing in disguise. Yes it’s just a day. Yes maybe time is a made up concept or whatever the haters and non believers are going to say when they want to shit all over the people who decide to make January a month of change… but if you see it as a blessing and you see it as a moment of power to take charge of your own life then hot damn you should take the reigns on that baby and let your horses know it’s time for the carriage to get on its way. I literally don’t even know what the fuck that means but it makes sense, doesn’t it?

And since there’s no rules here and this is my blog I’m going to go off on a fitness tangent for like 2 seconds because again, no rules. That’s why I’ve started so many sentences with the words ‘and’ and ‘but’ and I know if my high school english teacher ever read this, he’d wonder if I took anything he taught me into real life and the answer is yes. Also, Mr. Wilson, if you’re reading his some how… I’m still in love with you.

Okay sorry, my fitness tangent and then I’m going to bed.

I’ve just seen a lot of posts this year about how life is too hard to set fitness goals and that’s not something you need to be worrying about, which is kind of why I started writing this long winded blog in the first place. And again, let me preface this one more time by saying to you if that is not one of your passions, and it is not something that plagues your mind, and you feel healthy and happy and content in your body which is already beautiful and capable and perfect the way it is (just in case you didn’t know) then literally I cannot express how much I envy your strength. I would love to be more like you. So this is more for those of you who have any kind of fitness goals and don’t know where to begin, or whether or not you should, or someone told you that life is hard enough and you don’t need to make your changes… that’s why I’m finishing this blog post with this.

I ain’t ever seen a person tell someone not to renovate their home because life is hard. I’ve never heard someone tell another person to make sure they don’t replace the floors in their bathroom because 2020 was a hard year. I’ve never heard someone tell another person not to rearrange their furniture, or buy a new couch, or get a new kitchen because life’s weird right now… and guess what, that body of yours? That’s your home, baby. Your one and only home for the rest of your life, and the way you take care of it is your call. That beautiful bright incredibly vast mind of yours? That’s your home too. Taking care of that is equally as important. That’s why I ask that you take this advice with a grain of salt. I don’t know how many ways I can say what I’m trying to say… but I guess what I’m saying is:

If you want to, you can, and you will.

Happy new year my beautiful, capable, strong, incredible, unimaginably unique, talented, and very loved friend. You’ve got this.

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It’s a weird thing. You know, the whole idea that this has been the most isolated and heart wrenching thing we’ll ever experience. There are so many weird things about it that I don’t even know where